Turn Around, Bright Eyes

Every now and then I fall apart...

Many have asked and I've decided that motherhood is officially hard. Maybe it's easy for some. Maybe they immediately know what to do and never get scared because "Oh no! She's awake again.. is she going to start crying?!" And maybe they don't feel overwhelmed and wonder if they'll ever make it another month. Maybe those moms are out there, but I'm not one of them. The last six weeks (yeah, she's six weeks old!!) have been incredibly hard. I feel like I'm finally turning a corner, like I'm gaining some confidence and I may actually be able to do this. But man, it was tough there for a while.

I'm almost certain that sleep deprivation is the worst part. When you haven't had more than an hour or so of sleep at random intervals, even walking to the mailbox seems like the hardest possible task. McKenzie is still working out a sleeping schedule, but with Brant's help I am getting at least four hours straight on most nights. And I'm excited about that!

I know there are more tough times to come. Some people say we have eighteen years left of tough times, but I know I've caused my parents worry well into my twenties so I guess there really is no end to it. But, just as each stage has its trouble, each stage has its joys. As tired or frustrated as I might be at the time, one look can change my mood instantly. See for yourself...